June 21, 2021; Silversmith

June 21, 2021

Today I'm inspired by the works of Mary Oliver. She writes,

" How many mysteries have you seen in your life? How many roses in early summer?

And what do you say to the wonder of time and the wild fields? And to joy? And to griefs shock and torpor?"

And I say, What of oxygen? And so many different kinds of thirst? Stars?

And the hawks willingness to fall. And rise. And strike. Over and over.

The mystery today is the young hawks getting ready to fledge the nest. They are practicing. Fumbling around in the nest and amongst the branches of the pine. I will be sad to see them go but we are so lucky. This is the second year the parent hawks have nested in this tree, near our house. And while walking to see the nest yesterday, I turned and 30 feet away a black bear stood looking at me. He was very large. And very healthy. I told him loudly, and stomped my feet, I'm not going to run from you so you better run from me. And he did. It is an amazing sight to see a bear run. They are really fast!

I did this collage in 2004. My mother had just gotten a CT scan back and the cancer was unchanged. (not for long). The word at the top is 'orfevrerie', french for silversmith, or silver work. I like the idea of crafting with pure metals, or crafting a life. And a life is full of memories. In fact it is mostly memories as chains blocks of a foundation, walls, trees, roots, roves. And part of life is death. And death brings with it memories of other deaths. Unresolved. Solved. Deaths that perhaps were tucked into the earth in Ohio. Tidy. Neat. Gone. Yet, Not. My journal, of which this collage is part, is about my mother and myself. And this is the only one where my father insinuated himself. He is unresolved. Perhaps I never will resolve him. A drunk. An abuser. A pedofile. Insinerator. Chaos. Soldering iron. Where are these untouchables stored? to hint at.... to come to mind....to look back on.

But, I must go now, and check on my young hawks. They are a mystery that takes my breath away. Have you read H is for Hawk? Seen The Eagle Huntress, movie? And to go and fly a hawk at a falconry center. Well, it will take you our of your skin, out of your life. The lungs will feel free. Your heart will burst.